Being Alone Doesn’t Mean Lonely: Learn to Love It

If you’re recently separated, divorced, or even had a recent break-up, understand being alone doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It’s been since October 2018 for me (currently writing this article July 2019) and it was extremely difficult to be alone at first.

The Beginning and the Transition

Sleeping alone was nearly impossible for me. I barely slept.

I cried myself to sleep every night for months missing my husband. The hardest part of this was staying strong all day for my children acting as if everything was okay and would be perfectly fine then breaking down at night.

Actually, honestly, thinking about it… that wasn’t even the absolute hardest part. The absolute, most heart wrenching part of my entire situation was watching my children’s hearts be ripped apart– ripping mine apart even farther.

But then, it began to get easier. I can’t promise you time heals all wounds, because I don’t believe it does. But, time does make it easier for those wounds to close relatively tight.

What you’re left with is a small open wound… but most of all you’re left with the scars from the pain you endured. Be proud of those scars. They have made you who you are now.

If you are separated and/or going through a divorce, it’s particularly difficult as someone as left you who promised to always be there. Someone who vowed for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do you part.

Marriage Takes Two: No Matter How Much You Love the Other Person

Unfortunately, it takes two to love.

If your husband (or wife) walks away, your love alone isn’t enough to keep a marriage.

A marriage takes two people who love one another, always choose one another, and never leave one another’s side despite any obstacles that come before them.

They don’t give in to temptation. They love.

For those of you who are reading who have this love, I am envious of you because all I had ever wanted from my husband was for him to love me. To choose me. To be good to me. To always be my side. To grow old together. To raise our family together.

Life isn’t always what you plan, though.

Getting to the point of this article… I have learned it’s okay to be alone. And, I have become comfortable with being alone. Actually, I am quite happy alone (with my children, of course).

I have learned to enjoy my time alone. I take my boys all over the place. We have the time of our lives. When I am alone, if I am not working, I am cuddling up in a cozy bed by myself or watching my favorite television show.

I have learned to enjoy the silence; to enjoy only having to take care of myself and my children.

My children have also learned to live as a family of three. We are team. The three of us.

I am also decorating my family home on my own which has been an adventure.

I have become that ‘Pinterest’ Mom. I am always working on something new and trying to make our house into a place that feels like ‘an inspirational outdoor jungle.’ 

Those who know me are aware of exactly what I am talking about. I am in love with nature, as are my children. I am also in love with everything that brings passion and joy into our home. My boys and I have created a home full of this. And, I couldn’t be more proud.

Being Proud of Yourself and Your Accomplishments

Another part of being alone is being proud of yourself for doing it all on your own. Taking care of your family, taking care of your home, taking care of everything that’s in your life.

I am proud to support my little family. I am proud of my company and how far it has come. I am proud of where it’s going. Most of all, I am proud of how happy my little boys are now. Now that it’s just the three of us as a family… I have never seen my boys happier than what they are when it’s just the three of us.

I don’t feel alone. I don’t feel lonely. I am happy with where life is taking me. I am happy with where life is taking my family. I am finally truly happy. Even though those scars remain, and I do break down from time to time, I am happy with where my life is.

Everything is working out the way it should. All our prayers have been answered. And, I will continue working hard, enjoying as much time as possible with my two little boys, AND enjoy my time being alone.

Until next time, everyone! 

Published by AmberLDrake

Walt Disney once said, “We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”. To be successful is to have no limitations, it is to work through all obstacles, to have extreme passion for life, and love for others, and this seems to be the underlying motto of Amber Drake’s life. Drake is a highly accomplished, world-renowned, and published book author, freelance writer and editor, inspirational speaker, an inspiring teacher, a well-reputed canine behaviourist, a canine cancer researcher, and the CEO of Canine Companions. As a child, she was keenly interested in the veterinary field and this interest paved way for her to be the successful businesswoman she is today. Starting with an Associate of Science degree in Biology in 2007 from Jamestown Community College, she has since expanded her knowledge horizon by acquiring a Bachelor of Science in Biology degree with courses from both SUNY Fredonia and Cornell University, followed by a Master of Arts Degree in Education (2011) from Ashford University, a Post-Master’s Educational Certification, and a Doctorate in ABD from the North Central University, Prescott Valley Arizona. Driven by her love for dogs, she regards her company, Canine Companions, as her greatest work-related accomplishment. She wrote the book, ‘Dog Talk: What Your Dog Wants You To Know’ as a comprehensive guide to understanding the behavior of dogs. She has since been involved in numerous writing jobs in the field, varying from writing about veterinary medicine for pet insurance companies to serving as the Co-founder and Vice President at Preferable Pups. She actively engages in content management, copywriting and research work, ghost-writing, and content marketing for organizations around the world. In addition to being an incredibly successful writer, canine behaviorist, and a CEO, she is an educator as well as an experienced curriculum developer. She is a Professor of Veterinary Medicine at Mentoray, where she teaches and develops curriculum. She is also an Adjunct Professor of Professional Sciences at Kaplan University and an Adjunct Instructor of Biology at Jamestown Community College (10+ years). Drake is a woman of many skills. She has been in the freelance content writing field for almost 7 years now with a vast amount of writing experience throughout the past ten years. She is a proficient copywriter, blogger, and has years of experience in content management and development, content creation proofreading, written communication, and correspondence. She has a number of certifications including, but not limited to, Canine Psychology, SEO, Content Marketing, Social Media Marketing, Snapchat Marketing, and Google AdWords. Drake is a woman of extreme passion with great love for her work as a canine behaviourist, writer, and college professor. You can read more about her on her website http:/www.AmberLDrake.org or connect with her on her Facebook page, www.facebook.com/specialistamberdrake.

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